May is an interesting month for families

May 2011 - Child Care Month in BC
May 1 - 7, 2011 - International Youth Week
May 1 - 7, 2011 - National Mental Health Week
May 7, 2011 - Child and Youth Mental Health Day - BC
May 7 - 13, 2011 - Family Caregiver Week
May 15, 2011 - International Day of Families
May 23-29, 2011 - B.C. Child and Youth in Care Week.
May 25 - 28, 2011 - Aboriginal Awareness Week
May 25, 2011 - National Missing Children's Day

Much to recognize and think about this month, including Mother's day.
May 28 will be the first ever Grand Gathering in the Lower Mainland. A day to celebrate all that grandparents do who take on full time responsibility for raising their grandchildren. Stories to come after the Gathering.

All month is child care month. Finding available child care is a struggle for many families. Just any space will not do as parents want and need to know that their child is somplace safe, stimulating, loving, and affordable. In many families, grandparents take on the task of child care. Too many others are stuck either paying more than they can afford, or taking risks with the child's safety and well being. A terrible position to be in. Still Canadian families are waiting for universal child care, but it seems no closer than it was 2 decades ago. Will the new Federal government tackle that one?

Homophobia in Schools

Homophobia Common in Canadian Schools (From First Call's Newsletter)

A new report from Egale has found that “school hallways are saturated with homophobic language and 21% of LGBTQ students report being physically harassed or assaulted while almost two thirds - 64% - feel unsafe at school.” From the forward to Every Class in Every School:

Every class in every school has LGBTQ students, and the majority of heterosexual students are silently upset by homophobic comments. If teachers were to lead the way by speaking respectfully of LGBTQ people, the silent majority of students—the 58% of heterosexual students and the approximately 14% of students who are LGBTQ—would have more reason for courage. They might figure out that most of their peers aren’t homophobic either. They might stop using homophobic language to fit in, and they might start intervening when LGBTQ students are being harassed. LGBTQ students might start to think, gay life isn’t just possible on TV; it’s possible in my world as well, with my teachers and my friends, and my employers, and maybe with my family.

Federal Election

We at Parent Support Services Society want to encourage everyone to get involved in learning and promoting the issues that are priorities for this election. It is alarming to me that so few Canadians exercise their right (and responsibility) to vote and yet so many are happy to complain about the results and the directions government takes. Please do take the time to get informed and then get out and vote. Encourage your friends, family and colleagues to do the same.

Of course our priorities relate to such crucial issues as ending poverty; increasing safe, affordable housing; increasing access to justice; providing accessible, affordable child care; and ensuring parents and grandparents have the support they need to keep their families intact and safe in their own homes and communities. Addressing poverty and violence in our communities will have broad based benefits for all and ultimately will save dollars and lives.

Yes there are other concerns, however, if funds are limited, where are they best spent to create the greattest good for all? Do we have the collective wisdom for long term vision that protects the health and well being of the planet, works towards true equality and justice for all people, and ensures our children and grandchildren have a sustainable country and world where they can live well and in peace? What would it mean for everyone to have "enough"?

Here are a few suggestions of places to explore to help with your voting decision: First Call's Federal Election Kit is now available for download at http://www.firstcallbc.org/currentissues-election.html The election kit is a tool for individuals and communities to promote child and youth rights in the May 2, 2011 election.

Find out more about each party's platform and policies from their web sites:

New Democratic Party: "http://www.ndp.ca/platform"

Green Party: "http://greenparty.ca

Liberal Party:"http://www.liberal.ca/"

Conservative Party: "http://www.conservative.ca/"

Other sites to check:
Civil Society Organizations Campaign 2000 (www.campaign2000.ca) Campaign 2000 is a cross-Canada public education movement to build support for the 1989 all party House of Commons resolution that pledged to end child poverty in Canada by the year 2000.

Canada Without Poverty (www.cwp-csp.ca) Canada Without Poverty is a not for profit, non- partisan, member- based organization dedicated to the eradication of poverty.

Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives (www.policyalternatives.ca) The Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives, Ottawa, offers an alternative to the message that citizens have no choice about the policies that affect them, and promotes research on social/economic justice.

Canadian Council for International Co-operation (www.ccic.ca) A coalition of Canadian voluntary sector organizations working globally for sustainable human development, the Canadian Council for International Co-operation seeks to end global poverty, and to promote social justice and human dignity for all.

Canadian Council for Refugees (www.ccrweb.ca) The Canadian Council for Refugees is a non-profit umbrella organization committed to the rights and protection of refugees in Canada and around the world and to the settlement of refugees and immigrants in Canada.

Canadian Health Coalition (www.healthcoalition.ca) This not-for-profit and non-partisan organization is dedicated to protecting and expanding Canada’s public health system for the benefit of all Canadians.

Finding time to write

There never seem to be enough hours in a day to read, do, write, play, sleep, or dream all that I would like or even need. Not sure how other folks manage it but would like the secret. With provincial government change and leadership races and federal elections circling all around us, families ...at least in the news...are getting a lot of press. I know that is not a new topic around election times, however, I am still happy to see that focus. The difficult peice for many of us as we are courted to think and vote a particular way, is how to sift through the rhetoric, analyse both actual cost and actual benefit and end up in a place where we can form an opinion based on "fact". I certainly cannot suggest how to vote. I can suggest that we all do our homework with care...and yes, then vote. Learn all that you can from as many perspectives as possible so that your decisions are based on the best information available. That applies to all decision making in our lives. I do know that for democracy to work better, (from the world level right down to the family) we need accurate, honest information accessible to all; we need an equal voice in decision making; we need to be able to listen to, understand and respect differing points of view; we need equal rights and protection for everyone; and we need long term planning that ensures there is enough of all the essentials for each person in BC, Canada and the world. The concept of "enough" is a great topic to ponder for future comment. Would love to hear your thoughts. There is a line from an song that goes: "If I get everything I want there's not enough for you".

Family and Christie Clark

Well Christie Clark is using some words we should all be pouncing on: putting family first and reducing poverty. Away with that terrible $6.00 starting wage rate and up with minimum wage! Will BC really act to reduce child poverty and end our shame in the face of the nation? It will be up to you to hold her to that. It is going to be an interesting time to watch the near future unfold. Your voice can make a difference.

Very busy here this week at Parent Support Services Society with an excellent consultation meeting Monday at MCFD Victoria with managers, policy staff and grandparents. More about that next week. Tomorrow we have 2 days of staff inservice and that means our Coordinators from across the province can all gather and learn together.
Friday is the big Forum on Child Protection Advocacy best Practice. It should be quite a day and we are very hopeful that it will be productive and take us a giant step towards a Best Practice Model advocates will find helpful and useful to apply.

You won't likely hear from me again until next week.

Carol Ross

Kids, Separation, and Divorce

I just discovered an excellent interactive website for children whose parents are going through separation or divorce. "Changeville!" is done by the Justice Education Society and you can find it at www.KidsBC.ca

Let me know what you think.

Carol Ross

Pink Shirt Day

Let's all wear pink on February 23rd and again on April 4 (and any other day)to recognize Pink Shirt Day and boost awareness of the harms of bullying. (http://www.pinkshirtday.ca/) Because this idea has spread far and wide, different days are now emerging in recognition of the need for anti bullying awareness and action. Bullying is abuse; simple as that. It cannot and must not be tolerated. We do know that the reasons behind the making of a bully are complex as are the reasons "victims" too often do not tell. Sadly, many are not even aware that bullying is wrong!

The original idea for Pink Shirt Day was the brain child of two teenage students in Nova Scotia who took a stand against bullies in their school. CBC News, September 19, 2007, reported that David Shepherd and Travis Price, after hearing a student was called a homosexual and threatened for wearing pink, "went to a nearby discount store and bought 50 pink shirts, including tank tops, to wear to school the next day." Since that powerful act of solidarity, Pink Shirt Day has made its way across Canada and is now internationally recognized.

Read more at Suite101: Anti-Bullying Campaign in Canada: Pink Shirt Day Increases Awareness and Media Attention on Bullying http://www.suite101.com/content/anti-bullying-campaign-in-canada-a219531#ixzz1Eiwqvccc

I am proud to say that my now 10 year old grandson "got it" immediately that first year and picked out his own pink shirt to wear. He has been on the receiving end of bullying both in day care and school. He does his best to name it and stand up to it, "but it's hard Grandma". He and all children need the example and support of all the adults around them to recognize and stop bullying.

Bullying is not confined to the class room. Bullies can be found everywhere in the roles of instructors, parents, employers, landlords, medical professionals, police officers, co-workers, professors, teachers, social workers, day care providers, sales people, board members, lawyers and on and on the list could go. No occupation is spared.

I would love to hear your stories about strategies to keep children safe and strong in the face of bullying and for ways we could all be part of the solution.

Carol

Diversity and Kids

Great new site to check out. Embracing Diversity: Sharing our Songs and Rhymes. "An online community resource to inspire sharing across cultures.
Congratulations to Bob Prittie Metrotown Branch
Burnaby Public Library, 6100 Willingdon Avenue, Burnaby, B.C.
"The songs and rhymes are wonderful!"
http://www.bpl.bc.ca/kids/embracing-diversity

"Cinderella Ate My Daughter"

When I drive to work I always listen to CBC radio. This morning I was late because of the hail first, (and my cats that didn't want to make the mad dash to the front door being pummelled all the way) and then the fear or ? of Lower Mainland drivers who don't know how to drive on ice or snow. Thanks to those drivers I got to listen to most of an interview with journalist Peggy Orenstein who has recently published her book "Cinderella Ate My Daughter". Now, my daughters are both grown up and did not succumb to Cinderella canibalism, however, as I listened to Peggy talk, so much of what she said about the age of the princess, power of Disney, tyrany of pink and early onset glam, made me want to read this book.

If you have a chance to read it, let me know what you think.
How we raise our daughters and sons matters and each generation brings new and often sneaky challenges for parents and grandparents. Being aware, curious, open and thoughtful are useful approaches to take.

The invisible health care for seniors

Thanks to Penny Goldsmith of Povnet for sending this message along. The Povnet website is an excellent source for all that relates to poverty and advocacy. Check it out: www.povnet.org.

"The Remaining Light", produced by the Canadian Centre for Policy Aternatives and the Hospital Employees Union, journeys through an often invisible part of Canada's health care system -- the community-based services that provide care to seniors as they age and die. The film features the stories of seniors and their families, and explores themes of dignity, preventing illness and social isolation, and keeping health care costs under control as the boomer generation ages.

You can watch it online.
Website: http://www.policyalternatives.ca/projects/seniors-care

If the BC Government were a basketball player...

Safety on line

Thanks to the Child Welfare League of Canada: "While the Internet opens doors leading to a world of great information, communication and entertainment, it can also be a direct path to danger for children. Please take a moment to visit The door that's not Locked (www.thedoorthatsnotlocked.ca) where you will find a number of new internet safety resources at your finger tips to help keep your kids safe online."

Stop Racism Video Competition: You can vote!

Vote Now for the Racism. Stop It! Public Choice Video Award - Votez maintenant pour le Prix choix du public Mettons fin au racisme!

It is time to cast your vote for the 2011 Racism. Stop It! National Video Competition Public Choice Award.
We received hundreds of video submissions this year and after a careful review, we have identified 54 semi-finalists which will compete for the Public Choice Award. The Public Choice Award is given to the video that receives the highest score based on votes from the public. We encourage teens, parents, friends, teachers, mentors and anyone who values anti-racism awareness to get involved and vote.
Check out the Public Choice Award finalists on YouTube – http://www.youtube.com/user/march21mars
Voting is now open and will close on February 14. Use YouTube’s thumbs up and down rating system to tell us which videos are your favourite. And remember to share the link with your friends, your family and your social networks to spread the word about racism and encourage more people to vote.
Thank you and congratulations to the hundreds of youth across the country for contributing to the fight against racism through creative and positive videos.
For more information on the Racism. Stop It! National Video Competition, please call 1-888-776-8584 or visit www.march21.gc.ca.
Citizenship and Immigration Canada

Jody Paterson: always worth reading

Jody Paterson: Stigma blinds us, and destroys lives
BY JODY PATERSON,
TIMES COLONIST
FEBRUARY 11, 2011 6:19 AM

The dictionary defines stigma as "a distinguishing mark of social disgrace." Once upon a time, it was the common term for the permanent mark burned into the skin of criminals and slaves.
We like to think of ourselves as too civilized for such things nowadays. But in fact, the practice continues for all kinds of people singled out for scorn and judgment.
That we even sort people that way is probably the most interesting aspect of this thing we call stigma.
Scorn and judgment are not attitudes a "nice" society generally wants to cultivate in its citizens, and for the most part I think we're fairly kind to each other. We're respectful of each other's differences.
But not always. Some categories of people still end up singled out for social disgrace, their lives marked as surely by stigma as if we'd burned it into them.
This is Anti-Stigma Week in Greater Victoria, and I love the theme: "Nice People Take Drugs." People with addictions experience tremendous stigma, although almost 90 per cent of Canadians report having used alcohol or illegal drugs.
But stigma has an impact on a number of other groups, too. Sex workers are profoundly affected by stigma, as everything about the Pickton case continues to remind us.
If it had been bank tellers or 7-Eleven workers or small-business owners who started going missing, I don't think we'd be in the situation of pulling together a task force 20 years later to try to make sense of why so many died while we dithered. It simply wouldn't have happened that way. Stigma kills sex workers.
Stigma against poor people is growing at an alarming rate. It's why we can justify keeping income assistance rates at levels that are impossible to live on.
It's why we build way, way less subsidized housing than we did a couple of decades ago and wince at every tax dollar spent on supporting people unable to work.
Like every group we stigmatize, the poor have become unworthy and shameful in our eyes.
We use hateful language when describing people living homeless. We ignore our governments' endless service reductions and policy changes that crank up the misery for people in profound poverty. We watch the creep of poverty in our community, and still think it's "their" fault.
That's what stigma does. It blinds you to the obvious. It misleads you.
We've selectively stigmatized certain health issues, too. Mental illness is the most striking example of that.
If I sprained my ankle, I'd have no compunction about posting it on my Facebook page and waiting for the flood of caring comments. Or writing about it in my column.
But what if I posted that I was staying home to work through a severe anxiety attack? Or a rough period in my schizophrenia? Or had just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder?
Truth is, I doubt I'd even write such a thing if I genuinely had a mental illness, which is perhaps the worst part about stigma. It demands silence.
I've often thought that if a purple light suddenly appeared in the house of everyone in the region who'd had a problem with drugs or alcohol, we'd be blinded by the glow.
If we could ever see the faces of the people in our community who have been affected by mental illness -or participated in the sex trade, for that matter -we couldn't help but rethink our views just on the basis of how many familiar faces we'd see around us.
But who's going to step forward with such declarations when the stigma is unbearable? How many people are prepared to be brave for the good of the group, when the impact on their own lives from publicly revealing themselves can be horrendous?
Stigma costs people jobs. It costs them their children, and their housing. It brands them as outside the norm, forever "other."
Our laws say we don't allow things like that to happen. But we do.
Fortunately, there's a simple enough solution. We can stop. Stigma is kept alive in this day and age primarily by our attitudes, and it will die as soon as we quit substituting prejudice for thought.
We have banished many of the laws and practices that once fed stigma at the institutional level. What keeps it going now is just us. All it will take to banish stigma is for you and me to refuse to let it cloud our thinking.
So quit.
patersoncommunications@gmail.com
© Copyright (c) The Victoria Times Colonist

Dates to ponder

March 8 is International Women's Day, a day to honour all women and celebrate the achievements of world wide efforts to promote women's equality, safety and access to justice. March 8, as with every day, we also must remember that in every corner of the world, there are women, (our mothers, sisters, grandmothers, children), living in fear and pain, degradation , and poverty; there are women fighting for freedom from oppression, fighting for safe drinking water and adequate housing, fighting for a voice in their community or their nation. Heroes all. The unofficial anthem for IWD is Bread and Roses, from a poem by James Oppenheimer 1911. Give it a search. Some of the lines have changed a little over the years and one line of one version goes: "...the rising of the women means a better human race".

March 6 to 12 is Social Work Week in BC. Across Canada there are events to recognize the acitivities and contributions of the profession at various times during the month of March. Many of us have been on the positive receiving end of "social work", perhaps without recognizing it. You can find social workers in organizations such as ours, in academia, policing, hospitals, victim services. They write books, create music, work in soup kitchens and schools. They are artists, politicians, therapists, community organizers, environmentalists and so much more. What joins us/them together is a strong code of ethics and a determination to make the world a better place for all.

Anti Bullying success by students

Vancouver school principal behind flashmob video gone viral
BY ALAN CAMPBELL,
RICHMOND NEWS
FEBRUARY 9, 2011
YouTube VIDEO: Anti-Bullying Flashmob January 2011 - A YouTube video shows 300 Grade 3 to 12 students at the Oakridge Centre ripping off their jackets to reveal pink anti-bullying T-shirts for an apparent impromptu dance routine. The students are from David Lloyd George elementary and nearby Sir Winston Churchill secondary.
A Richmondite is behind an amazing anti-bullying flashmob video that went viral on the Internet within a couple of days of going live.
The video — showing 300 Grade 3 to 12 students in a mall ripping off their jackets to reveal pink anti-bullying T-shirts for an apparent impromptu dance routine — was the idea of a Vancouver school principal Mette Hamaguchi.
After being posted on Youtube last weekend, the performance at the Oakridge Centre by students from Hamaguchi’s David Lloyd George elementary and nearby Sir Winston Churchill secondary attracted almost 50,000 hits by Wednesday.
The video has also been posted on celebrity gossip blogger Perez Hilton’s website and the Ellen Degeneres Show — whose presenter is a high profile anti-bullying advocate — has been bombarded by emails requesting she highlight the video with the anti-bullying Pink Shirt Day coming up on Feb. 23.
“When you start this thing from a grass roots level, you don’t really expect it to go much farther than the two schools,” said Steveston’s Hamaguchi, wife of Seafair Minor Hockey Association’s executive director Ken Hamaguchi.
“We’re absolutely overwhelmed by the reaction and we’ve been getting emails from around the world.
“We did not expect it to have the effect that it now seems to be having.”
Hamaguchi sheepishly admitted the flashmob — when a large group of people perform a choreographed routine in a public place in an off-the-cuff manner — was her idea.
“I did come up with the idea, but the whole thing was definitely a team effort,” she said.
“We were at a family function and we got talking about all the negativity with things going viral on social media. I then thought it would be a good idea to do a positive message using social media for a change.
“So I said ‘let’s do a flashmob with an anti-bullying theme.’”
Hamaguchi said her school works hard at re-enforcing anti-homophobic and anti-bullying messages.
And when she asked the dance teacher at the neighbouring Churchhill secondary to help with choreography, it was decided that the two schools join forces.
As for Perez Hilton and Degeneres, Hamaguchi isn’t expecting any more publicity.
“We’re quite shocked that it made it onto Perez Hilton’s website,” she said.
“And we really don’t expect to make it onto the Ellen show.”
© Copyright (c) Richmond News

Grand Gathering

Soon there will be a Grand Gathering in the Lower Mainland BC for Grandparent led families. Looks like it will be May 28 in New Westminster. Watch for regular updates and formal announcements on our website http://www.parentsupportbc.ca/.

Grandparents around the world take on the responsibility of raising their grandchildren when, for a variety of difficult reasons, the parents are unable to continue in their parenting role. It is not a simple or easy task to begin parenting again, later in life. Here in British Columbia exact numbers are difficult to obtain, but we do know there are upwards of 10,000 children being raised by their grandparents and that many grandparents are struggling to find the funds and supports needed to make sure the children are happy, healthy, safe and secure.

Here at PSS we work hard to create supports, resources and learning opportunities for grandparents raising grandchildren (GRG) and we also benefit enormously from the stories and wisdom they share with us.

Investing in Girls article

To Fight Poverty, Invest in Girls


From TIME. So important to have a global perspective and to be reminded that there are some simple solutions to addressing poverty. What impact would a small shift in spending priorities make for developing countries? I can only imagine how those shifts would benefit the whole world.

Review of 21 Infant Deaths: BCASW responds

BC Association of Social Workers
For Immediate Release
Date: 3rd February, 2011

WE HAVE THE POWER AND THE RESPONSIBILITY TO PROTECT OUR CHILDREN
________________________________________
The headlines continue in response to Representative Mary Ellen Turpel-Lafond’s Aggregate Review of 21 Infant Deaths in BC. I am glad that is so. As Chair of the BC Association of Social Workers’ Child Welfare Committee it is very easy to endorse the recommendations in the report. The research, the stories and the analysis are stark and compelling.

In all honesty I have struggled to find a response that can add to the arguments and dialogue. Reporters have done their homework well. My struggle is based in the reality that solid facts based on solid research on essential changes in law, policy, service delivery and practice have been presented to all levels of government and the public for many decades. If even a small percentage of those “facts” and the resulting recommendations had been acted upon years ago we would all feel the benefits and families would be experiencing much better realities today.

It baffles and in fact stuns me that it seems so easy for too many of us to ignore those living in poverty and unsafe conditions to the extent that children die. We don’t want to look at the harsh realities our values, politics, practices and priorities have created. Parents still are blamed, or addictions or mental illness or family history.

I have been working in the social work field for four decades. Forty years ago, we knew that solving poverty would benefit all. We knew it was never going to be as simple as creating jobs. We knew we Canadians had to shift our attitudes and perspectives and join a movement to end poverty, violence and inequities. We had to mend the old wrongs of colonialism. We had to face our classism and our personal contribution to the perpetuation of impoverishment and injustice and prejudice. We all play a role in letting the rich get richer and the poor get poorer and in allowing government after government to make promises or offer bandaids or test “new” theories and initiatives.

No one Ministry, one social worker, one health worker can solve all the issues that contribute to the death, abuse or neglect of children. Responsibility for the depth of poverty faced by so many children and families in BC lies with all of us. We have the power, the right and the responsibility to insist on and support action on Mary Ellen’s recommendations, on First Call’s demands to end child poverty, on the bottomless pit of research that clearly shows that universal childcare, safe affordable housing, living wages, a fair minimum wage and welfare benefits are essential.

For MCFD the solutions are complex yet possible. It is not as simple as reducing case load size. The quality of social work practice must be high and consistent province wide. This requires professional social work education, solid hiring procedures, and ongoing access to training “on the job”. There are times when a caseload of three families can fill every working hour and other times when a caseload of 30 might be manageable. Systems must be in place to manage those unpredictable fluctuations in need for intervention. Access to skilled and supportive supervision is essential for social workers. Access for families to strong, well funded, community social and health services is also essential and we are very aware of those service disparities across the province.

Investment in children and families, in ending poverty and violence, is the only ethical and socially and economically prudent route for any progressive government to take. The benefits will be felt in all sectors: health, justice, education, child safety. Invest in prevention must be our call to all levels of government.

-30-

Contact: Carol Ross, MSW
Chair, BCASW Child Welfare and Family Committee
carol.ross@parentsupportbc.ca

Article - Build families, not prisons, to reduce crime

Build families, not prisons, to reduce crime

Nobody's Perfect Program in Mandarin

Burnaby Tommy Douglas Public Library will be hosting a Nobody's Perfect Program for Mandarin speaking families. The see the flyer please click here.